Stimulation of synaptic NMDA receptors (NMDARs) induces neuroprotection, while extrasynaptic NMDARs promote excitotoxic cell death. Neuronal expression of cyclooxygenase-2 (COX-2) is enhanced by synaptic NMDARs, and although this enzyme mediates neuronal functions, COX-2 is also regarded as a key modulator of neuroinflammation and is thought to exacerbate excitotoxicity via overproduction of prostaglandins. This raises an apparent paradox: synaptic NMDARs are pro-survival yet are essential for robust neuronal COX-2 expression. We hypothesized that stimulation of extrasynaptic NMDARs converts COX-2 signaling from a physiological to a potentially pathological process. We combined HPLC-electrospray ionization-tandem MS-based mediator lipidomics and unbiased image analysis in mouse dissociated and organotypic cortical cultures to uncover that synaptic and extrasynaptic NMDARs differentially modulate neuronal COX-2 expression and activity. We show that synaptic NMDARs enhance neuronal COX-2 expression, while sustained synaptic stimulation limits COX-2 activity by suppressing cellular levels of the primary COX-2 substrate, arachidonic acid (AA). In contrast, extrasynaptic NMDARs suppress COX-2 expression while activating phospholipase A₂, which enhances AA levels by hydrolysis of membrane phospholipids. Thus, sequential activation of synaptic then extrasynaptic NMDARs maximizes COX-2-dependent prostaglandin synthesis. We also show that excitotoxic events only drive induction of COX-2 expression through abnormal synaptic network excitability. Finally, we show that nonenzymatic lipid peroxidation of arachidonic and other polyunsaturated fatty acids is a function of network activity history. A new paradigm emerges from our results suggesting that pathological COX-2 signaling associated with models of stroke, epilepsy, and neurodegeneration requires specific spatiotemporal NMDAR stimulation.